Very well, Beeker.  I believe we are
ready to retrieve the.....
Freeze!  Nobody Moves!


Vark!  Secure the researchers!
Search the premises!
Cover the exits!
Got it!
What are you people doing here!
On it!
Pikachu!
Meep!
 
 
Nothing over here!
Or here!
Anyone see a bathroom?
Over there!
What's that?
I mean really!  You didn't even knock!
 
 
Anyone see anything?
Oh!  Wait, what's THIS!
Checking the vestibule!
 
 
Cover me!  I'm going for the pantry!
Oh.  It's a wastebasket.  Nice pattern.
 
 
Vestibule's clear, sir!
I de-mand to know, what is the meaning of this?

 
We're here to rescue you.
Rescue?  From what?
 
Well, Sector Command said to check on you as we went by your planet.
And by 'check on' you assumed we were in trouble?
 
 
They said you'd been out of communications for 4 months, and everyone knows about research scientists on far away planets without communications....
Our research is with phenomena that are sensitive to subspace emanations.  We secured our subspace transceiver for six months.  We scheduled it with Sector Command.
 
 
Oh.  
You'd probably have preferred that
we use shuttles than transporters, then.
Yippee Skippee we would!
Tell me you didn't just completely eviscerate four months of work!  
 
 
Um, sorry, but, well, we were told
about researchers on a faraway...
No mail, no new entertainments, no FederationOnLine access, no new episodes of the MuppetShow...
 

Look, we said we were sorry.  
But you know how it is...
I want you people out.  OUT!  


  You want us to wait for a shuttle to pick us up?
No point now.  Just tranport.  After we catch up on the mail, we have to start all over again.


Okay, people, file out and leave these gentlemen to their research.  Sorry.  So sorry.
Told you I should have driven.
Shuddup, Chief Sierra.
 

Are they gone? You must make absolutely sure they are.

Inflict Index

Part Two