Medical Triage Rankings: How Star Trek Doctors sort multiple casualties for care
(I take credit for everything except the Ferrengi...credit my HMO for that one)

Starfleet

1. CRITICAL: major risk to life, limb or non-human special power (telepathy)
2. CATASTROPHIC: major risk to life or limb but under protection of non-human special ability (inner eyelid, heart in wrong place)
3. URGENT: can survive without qualified medical attention, although they may lose any bumps on their head
4. MINOR: Critical or Catastrophic injuries sustained during a fight scene (upgraded later when visit to Sickbay not contraindicated by threat)
5. DEAD: Medical term for a character with no more speaking lines until the end of the episode (will and testament, resurrection)

Klingon

1. HURT: any wound, from noticable scratch through injuries that are terminal, but not so bad the warrior will die before combat is over
2. DEAD: a condition of mortality NOT met until 5 minutes after all life signs are lost (the wait is to see if THIS bastard is tough enough to beat Death)

Andorian

1. HERO: Anyone with a wound recieved in battle against an honorable foe
2. WIMP: Anyone with a wound recieved in battle against a dishonorable foe

Vulcan

1. HEAD WOUND: any condition that may impact on the intellectual abilities of the victim
2. FLESH WOUND: any other condition that may shred the body, but leaves the mind intact, though still unable to distinguish the humor of a Monty Python reference
3. INCONSEQUENTIAL: any condition that can be defeated or deferred through the use of superior Vulcan physiology, neurology, willpower, intellect, or plomik soup.

Redshirts (In theory)

1. BULLSEYE
2. SLIGHTLY OFF CENTER
3. NEAR MISS
4. COMPLETE MISS (watch for ricochet, though)

Redshirts (In Practice)

1. I think I can save him, Jim
2. He's Dead, Jim

Gorn

1. Well Done
2. Medium Rare
3. Lightly Toasted
4. Deep Fat Fried

Ferrengi

1. Latinum Credit Rating (No Line, all the tests and specialists, Private Room)
2. Gold Credit Rating (Head of the Line, most tests, one specialist, Semi Private Room)
3. Brass Credit Rating (In the Line, two tests, a generalist, Ward)
4. Tin Credit Rating (End of the Line, one random test, an intern, sleep in the Waiting Room)
5. Cardboard Credit Rating (Stay out of the Line, a home pregnancy test, a Candy Striper, out patient)

Q:

1. I'm Q!

Bajoran:

No lines. It is as the Prophets will it to be. Bring one on in.

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