USS Inflict Quarterly Training Plan

SubjectTopicPresenter
CommandSun Tzu, the Logistics chapter.Faith
EngineeringInertia: Why Warp Nine is barely noticeable, but disruptor fire near-misses rattle the crew like a ball bearing in a blender.Rackunder
MedicalWhy Genetic Improvements of any nature create a soulless being out to kill or conquer all ‘mundane’ or ‘weak’ persons.Amiss
MedicalWhy Cybernetic Implants of any nature create a soulless being out for widespread destruction of all ‘mundane’ or ‘pure’ persons.Amiss
SecurityThere’s no such thing as an unfair advantage.Fox
SecurityVery few alien species cannot be punched out when necessary.Fox
Ship SupportDestruct mechanisms: Why any monkey can initiate them, but no one can disable them until the counter reaches less than ten secondsJeffreys
Ship SupportNever build sentient computers smarter than we are unless we can control the power supply.T’ok
Stellar NavigationIntergalactic Down: why all species orient their ships in the same plane at all times.Eurayle
XenoContactFriends don't let friends save PackledsSmith
XenoContactThe cuter they are, the more likely they’ll eat you. Especially the furry ones.Smith
SecurityIf your computer targeting system can’t hit the broadside of a barn, consider that maybe you’re one of the Bad Guys.Fox
XenoContactLife Forms we have previously encounteredSmith
Ship SupportEnergy Types we have previously encounteredFisher
XenoContactEnergy Types we have previously encountered that turned out to be Life Forms we had not encountered right up to right then.Amiss
Command Sometimes, one has to do something that seems totally suicidal. Faith
MedicalFirst aid thumbrules for life as we know it.Amiss
SecurityWhen the camera goes out, it’s a Security Violation.Fox
SecurityPhaser Settings: Stun, Kill, Vaporize, Deep Fat Fry, Julienne FriesVark
Ship SupportOpen Sourcing: Why every alien in the universe has technology that can override our classified computer systemsSharpe
Ship SupportNever be more than 7 feet from someone that knows Morse CodeT’ok
Stellar NavigationWhy asteroids and comets can get close to Earth’s Orbit before being noticed so something NOT STUPID OR DESPERATE can be done about them.Eurayle
XenoContactNever trust men in dark helmets.Sierra
XenoContact Never buy droids from Jawas, uh, I mean, buy Androids from Ferengi.Smith
CommandThe question is not 'Do we have the right to do this?' but 'Do we possess the firepower to finish this?' Faith
Medical First aid wild guesses for life but not as we know it.Amiss
SecurityBrig forcefields, medical scanners and the outbreak of appendicitis in dangerous prisoners – think first, then scan, then act. No, think some more, THEN act. Wait, CALL SOMEONE, then act.Fox
Ship Support3,643 Hailing Frequencies and How to Open ThemT’ok
Ship SupportTransporters: Everything That Could Possibly go WrongJeffreys
XenoContactAdvanced does not neccesarily mean intelligent.Smith
CommandSteps to command decisions: Logic, hunches, poker. Faith
MedicalOrgan transplants are best left to professionals , or aliens with artificially augmented intellectual abilities.Amiss
SecurityWhen in doubt, empty the magazine (drain the battery, upend the bag, whatever).Fox
SecurityIt is physically, grammatically, and tactically impossible to carry too much ammo.Fox
Ship SupportTemporal Anomalies: why all roads that lead to the 20th century now lead to the 21stSierra
Ship SupportNo matter the size of a ship, station or orbital platform, alien monsters need 1 hour to learn the layout well enough to sneak up on a security or rescue force still groping in the dark.Fisher
XenoContactAlien evolution so parallel they find Human flesh tasty and not at all toxic.TenTenTen
CommandTime Travel, Available Resources: Newspapers in trash cans always reflect the current date and contain headlines that impact on your time-travel mission. Faith
CommunicationsWhy the Universal Translator will be detected in ship-to-ship transmissions, but not in face to face infiltrations of a hostile societyFisher
EngineeringPart 1701 of the Criminal Code: breaking the laws of Physics, average sentencing for violators.Jeffereys


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