Cross Words with Thrud!
Cross Words with Thrud, the Trollop!
They ask Thrud make Troll Cross word list for game. Thrud shrug, she say okay. Here list Thrud make of cross words. She hope you like, not too hard.

    Cross:

  1. What say to knight stab Thrud?
     BITE ME!

  2. What say to mounted knight?
     ….AND HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!

  3. What word use to make noble lady cry?
     Any euphemism for sex

  4. What word best to make Knight cry?
    CHASTITY BELT!

  5. What say to cleric make sky fall on Thrud?
     YOU PATRON DEITY A WANKER!

  6. What say right after call thunder god wanker?
    OW!

  7. What word best to use when offended by bridge club?
    BUGGER!

  8. What say to wizard hit Thrud with lightning?
    YOU SHEEP (a really cross word)-ING (a VERY cross word, indeed)-ER WITH TWO (Oh, my!)-ES!

  9. What say to short person who ask ‘how weather up there, Thrud?
     Say ‘IT RAINING’ and spit on him.

  10. What say to woman criticize Thrud’s dress-up dress?
     You get birth certificate or parents just register you in Kennel Club?

  11. What say to smarty pant say something insulting make everyone laugh at Thrud?
     Nothing, just hit him again.

  12. What say to smarty pant say something go over Thrud head?
     Say ‘OUTSMART THIS, IN-TI-LECK-SHOOL!’ and hit him with hammer.
    Oh, Thrud screw that one up. This one go before that one.
  13. What say when fecal matter hit rotating blades
    BULLSEYE!

  14. What say when someone ask for location of someone in Thrud’s business unit?
    WELL HE NO EAT HAM SANDWICH…THRUD WOULD KNOW.
  15. What say when music next door playing too loud?
    YOU WANT EAT THAT VIOLIN?
    (It not matter if it not violin, they get idea even if they actual play a piano)

  16. What say to piss of cleric leading group prayer?
    After AMEN shout HAIL SATAN!

  17. What say to person use word like ‘empowerment’ in normal conversation?
    SPEAK KINGS ENGLISH, IN-TAW-LET-SCHUUL! (or Queen’s English, depending where at….)

  18. What do when spending time with victim of Tourette’s Syndrome?
    WHEN IN ROME….

  19. What say when sobby snobby royal comment on how common you heritage is?
    YOU INBRED GENE POOL SO SHALLOW FLEAS CALL IT KIDDIE POOL!

  20. What say to witty fellow that ask how many trolls it take sharpen sword?
    NOT KNOW. TROLL NOT USE SWORD.
    Then hammer him into ground like tent peg.

  21. What say when prisoner shout "Give me liberty or give me death."??
    THIS A LINE UNIT…LIBERTY HARD TO COME BY...

  22. What say when officer command release prisoners as sign good will?
    WISH YOU SAY THAT BEFORE WE HAD DINNER…

  23. What say when rescue party arrive and smartass dwarf ask ‘anyone here order a pizza?’
    POUND DWARF WITH HAMMER, SAY EXTRA-FLAT, PLEASE!

  24. What say knight no surrender, shout ‘Death Before Dishonour!’
    ME PUT YOU HEAD ON PIKE OVER LATRINE, YOU GET BOTH!

  25. What say to person look over Thrud shoulder give hints like ‘red queen on black king?’
    BASTARD! (or sometimes Thrud use the French: BASTARD!)

  26. What call gate guard get all snooty when Thrud try to enter castle?
    POLTROON!

  27. What say knight ask ‘You troll? Any tasty billy goats on bridge lately?’
    DIE OF HOOF IN MOUTH DISEASE, UPPER CLASS FILS A PUITAN!
    Then rip leg off horse and shove down throat.

  28. What say when sales clerk stay at elbow when Thrud just want to shop alone?
    MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!

  29. What say when ‘Humiliated in Camelot’ cry about husband sleep with sister’s hairdresser’s Saxon serf?
    THRUD LOSE INTEREST IN AGONY AUNT COLUMNS WHEN THEY NO ADVISE READERS INFLICT AGONY.
    OPEN STUPID HUSBAND SKULL WITH BATTLE AXE, SAY ‘THIS YOU FIRST WARNING, JACKASS!’




Words that not so cross but still get Thrud in trouble:

  1. What best thing do when fancy dinner partner think Thrud use wrong fork?
     Thrud know good manners. Thrud eat forks from outside to inside, then eat what on plate. Then hit sobby snobby with hammer.

  2. What say to man spend time looking at Thrud’s secondary sexual attributes rather than Thrud’s eyes when talking to Thrud?
     Thrud have no freaking idea...

  3. What say when coming down after joining ¼-mile-high club and bump into people who know now you have sex in tower?
    NEXT!

  4. What say when hungry?
    HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!
    Or, if hostess a cat fancier: HERE DOGGY! HERE BOY!

  5. What say when close friend fall behind while fleeing vastly superior military force through unfamiliar terrain?
    EVERY THING HAPPEN FOR REASON, GODS HAVE PLAN, EVEN FOR YOU HORRIBLE DEATH!

    Or
    CIRCLE OF LIFE, DUDE!

  6. What say in polite company when gaseous emmisions from host’s lower digestive tract echo through room?
    GESUNDHEIT!

  7. What say when accident drop lunch on floor?
    EVERYONE HERE HAD THEIR SHOTS?

  8. What say when leech doctor lie ‘this no hurt’?
    THAT WHAT LAST ONE SAY! YOU KNOW DOCTOR ‘PINATA’ TOO?

  9. What say when didn’t quite hear the question?
    HA! WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!


  10. What say when cave bear go rampant downtown, many deaths?
    NOTHING. THROW LEASH IN BUSHES, LOOK INNOCENT.

  11. What say to relieve tension during crossbow-wedding ceremony?
    I SEE WED PEOPLE!

  12. What say when hotel clerk no have room for Thrud?
    KNOW JOKE ABOUT 400-POUND GORILLA? HIM NO COMING, ME BEAT HIM TO DEATH. GIMME HIS ROOM!

  13. What say when no one think ‘off color’ joke funny?
    HUH. MUST BE THRUD’S TIMING….
    EVERYONE LAUGH WHEN MOTHER SUPERIOR TOLD IT.

  14. What say to questioner when they say “That’s no answer!” and ask more questions?
    ANSWER IS WHAT MAKES SOMEONE STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. THIS MY ANSWER!
    Then pound them in ground like tent peg. They stop asking questions.

  15. What say when someone want Thrud meet them on field of honor at dawn?
    SAY OKAY!
    Then break into his room at midnight, say YOU LATE! SUN GO DOWN HOURS AGO!
    THEN ROLL HIM UP LIKE BEDROLL IN MATTRESS
    Next day say WHOOOPS. TROLLS NOCTURNAL, THINK HE MEANT SUNDOWN, NOT SUN DAWN.

  16. What say when they say "over my dead body"?
    THRUD BEEN TOLD IT USUALLY HYPERBOLE, NOT TAKE IT LITERAL.
    LUCKY FOR THRUD, NOT KNOW WHAT HYPERBOLE IS!

  17. What say teen adventurer ask ‘Whassuuuuuuuuuuup?’
    IT HAMMER TIME, YOU ANNOYING, TRENDY F%&#@, @#((& of a @#$%!
    (THRUD REALLY HATE PEOPLE CAN’T TALK RIGHT!)
  18. What say people talk in benches while watching stage production?
    YOU A RETARDED RANCID CABBAGE!
    YOU MAKE SMOOCHIES AT MUTILATED HORNY TOADS AND MOLEST DISEASED COLLIES!



With thanx for assistance from Macaroo.



For you use: Extra Cross Words You May Need:
(Cross words on loan from Australian Politician)

  1. "...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition..."
  2. "I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot..."
  3. "...You stupid foul-mouthed grub."
  4. "Come in sucker."
  5. "Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!"
  6. "...what we have here is an intellectual rust bucket."
  7. "The Leader of the Opposition hurls all sorts of abuse at me, and all through question time those pansies over there want retractions of the things we've said about them. They are a bunch of nobodies going nowhere."
  8. "Mr Speaker can I have some protection from the clowns on the front bench ?"
  9. "...for the dullard on the front bench opposite"
  10. "Mr Deputy Speaker, am I to be continually abused by the Honorable Member for Mitchell and the drone beside him, the Honorable Member for Braddon ?"
  11. "You were heard in silence, so some of you SCUMBAGS on the front bench should wait a minute until you hear the responses from me."
  12. "What really amuses me and almost makes me spew..."
  13. "They have no ideas, no integrity and no ability."
  14. "Damn them for being the cheats they are."
  15. "You are frauds."
  16. "...votes for coalition members who have always been cheats, cheats, cheats and will always be cheats, cheats, cheats and will always defend cheats, cheats, cheats."
  17. "Honorable Members opposite are a joke."
  18. "They are irrelevant, useless and immoral."
  19. "...they insist on being mugs, Mr Speaker, absolute mugs."
  20. "I'm not running a seminar for dullards on the other side."
  21. "Those opposite could not operate a tart shop"
  22. "These intellectual hoboes"
  23. "This rabble opposite"
  24. "...for the benefit of the blockheads opposite"
  25. "If the dummies opposite will just shut up"
  26. "Shut up for a moment. If you ask questions and want to hear answers, shut up."
  27. "How thick these people are"
  28. "These dummies and dimwits"
  29. "Talk about desperadoes"
  30. "These are the absolute gutter tactics of a mindless, useless, idealistic, unprincipled Opposition."
  31. "The Opposition is such a motley, dishonest crew"
  32. "...the cowboys on this front bench"
  33. "It is just a slight of hand by a dingy party"
  34. "The Opposition crowd could not raffle a chook in a pub"
  35. "We will be rejecting the opportunist claptrap coming from the Opposition."
  36. "Honorable Members opposite squeal like stuck pigs"
  37. "...small time punk stuff coming from a punk Opposition."
  38. "The animals on the other side"


Use carefully. Have nice day.

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