vs. Fry Cook


So, Arthur, how say you? Who will be your champion, and who shall he face in the Challenge?	We fear nothing. And to prove it, Patsy here does ALL our cooking. Bring on your Fry Cook!

Very Well. Fetch hither Lady Valar, my Champiõn du Skillet!	So the lines are drawn, the arena chosen, the warriors prepare...

Lady Valar hails from the Golden Beaches of Joisey, and has spent a lifetime mastering her skills!	Patsy woke up under the Castle Moat one day, and has carried the Coconuts of Arthur ever since.

Let the Battle Begin!





Much later:

So, what do you have?	A Hot Dog!

Is that all?	All?! It's Unicorn Meat. And the bun was made from a flour of ground Monarch Butterfly Wings!
	Oh. Nicely decadent. Any idea what HE has?

Frogs. Slimy, living, kicking frogs.	Eewww! That's disgusting. Well, you're a shoe-in.

Not necessarily. Remember who's judging.	Oh. Yeah


And what do we have here....?	Mmmmm. Wiggly.


PATSY WINS IRON AGE CHEF!
Select Another Challenge

Aftermath:
Arthur and the elf king forged a lasting peace, based on the humans winning the competition and not demanding any tokens of tribute from the losers. Of course, within the caves and tunnels of the elves, Lady Valar's Unicorn Dogs became swiftly popular, leading to a grassroots belief among the Pointy Eared Ones that she deserved the win.
Sometime after the humans made their way out of the elf-controlled realms, a challenge for a rematch was issued by Lady Valar's operatives.
Patsy, realizing his win depended more on luck than any skill, declined a rematch and returned the trophy by parcel post.
It stands on LV's mantel to this day, next to a tiny Iron Maiden that rather pointedly holds the no-longer wiggly skeleton of a frog.