|
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Look sire, Elves!
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Elves? Here?
|
|
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Yes, m'lord. This symbol
marks their territory.
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Is that...gold?
|
|
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I would recommend not stealing
from the elves, sir.
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Why?
|
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Because my bondsmen will
avenge the theft, and some of them are fey.
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Whoa. Be careful making threats, child,
or someone might call your bluff.
|
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I
am the Wanderer.
You should learn to see beyond the merely physical. Or we'll have
to adjust your attitude.
|
You
are going to adjust my attitude?
You? You? |
|
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When you get
to the part about 'and what army?'...
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We're here.
|
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Never
mind him, he's from France.
We come in peace, Mr. Elf, sir, ...
|
...seeking
to advance the cause of Our Lord God, bringing the Light of His Word
to those that know Him not.
|
|
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You
seek gold, and lots of it.
|
Um...as
Royalty, I demand to speak to your king.
|
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That's
on the schedule. Right after disarming and delousing.
|
Delousing?
Is that all the lice, or just the ones we haven't named yet?
|
Later, unarmed and uncomfortably clean,
in the Reception Room of the Elves:
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Enter, Arthur,
King of the Britons.
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Rambo, King
of the Elves, if anything happens to me, many shall come after, seeking
me or knowledge of my fate.
|
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And if I pay off your creditors,
will any others come seeking?
|
Oh. Well. Um. What
can we do for you, oh mighty lord of the Pointy Eared People?
|
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The Royal
Voice will instruct you, he's a member of the Chaelosm.
|
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From
the days of the Earth's youth, the Chaelosm has demanded one thing
of any non-elf found armed in Elf-hame.
|
You
must meet and defeat the King's Champion.
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A fight to the
DEATH! Bring forth your warrior, as Arthur's Champion I will-
|
No, no, no.
There's no diplomatic gain to having a death between us.
|
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|
Diplomatic gain?
|
Yes. If we
have our men...
|
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Or womyn!
|
Yes, Trippyhare,
if our "champions" fight in mortal combat, then there will be a death
between us. Peace will be hard.
|
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No, we have
long known that the best contests are those that provide for the clan.
|
Mmm-yes, my
liege, I have heard of this. Most civilized.
|
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So Arthur must
choose!
To accept the Elf King's challenge?
|
And who shall
serve as Arthur's Champion in the arena?
|
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For Arthur and his Knights
face the Ancient Elven Challenge known as
|
IRON AGE
CHEF!
|
You,
that's right YOU
select the challenge:
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Where did you
find the announcer?
|
Isn't he with you?
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